A letter from the United States

The underlying topic was how business and business practices in South Tirol have been in place for generations and are slow to change while in the US they are constantly changing and we Americans willingly adapt, for better or worse. I believe that this is because the US is filled with people from all over the world, including South Tirol, and all had to learn to adapt to a new life. This ability to adapt has been passed down through generations, although, of course, there are many exceptions.We discussed many issues including cell phone use, business etiquette, and higher education in the States. All of which sparked interesting conversation, however there is only so much space in one article so when my friend asked me to share some thoughts, I chose the one most currently on my mind, that of my beautiful week old niece.A tiny bundle of joy whose life in the States will be markedly different than that of a South Tirolese baby born on the same day. She will most certainly have a wonderful infancy and childhood and be well-loved and cared for. She will also at the age of three months begin day care, a concept that seemed quite foreign to my friends in South Tirol. The US has hundreds of licensed day care centers for children from infancy through school age. These strictly regulated day care centers have created a new style of child-rearing, where the emphasis for parents is on quality time with their children versus quantity. We debated the merits of such a system and the cause for its existance and acceptance.As to why this is happening, there are several factors that have led to this new lifestyle. The trend began during World War II as women went to work in factories while the men were in the military. Shortly following the War, educational opportunities became increasingly available to women. During the 1950s many women went to university to find a husband, a thought that horrifies the women of my generation. And while now many strong marriages begin as university romances, the women of today are less willing to disregard four years of university education in order to stay home.A quick note, should you travel to the US and meet a woman who stays home with her family, I would suggest that you not refer to her as a housewife, you can however refer to her as a stay at home mother. Also, you should not state or imply that she does not work as spending 24 hours taking care of the house and raising the children is regarded in the States as a full-time job. This began as part of the US’s movement toward political correctness, and has developed into a way to honor and respect the hard work that women who stay at home do every day.As women began having the same educational opportunities as men they began to achieve the same statuses that a position can afford a person. Women have permeated the higher ranks of virtually every industry; they are bankers, doctors, accountants, CEOs, and everything in between. This has caused a great change in the way many US businesses operate, but that is a topic for another day. Once a woman has worked so hard to achieve a position and the respect that can come with it, many are reluctant to give that up to stay at home. And while in the beginning this was difficult for their male counterparts to understand, once the tables were turned and they were asked if they would give up their positions to stay at home, many began to understand why a lot of women are reluctant to do so.The idea that the mother should be the primary caretaker of the house and the children has evolved over time and has become less prevalent and men are increasingly willing to share in the domestic tasks. The merits of this have been debated ad naseum, and the long-term effects of this change remain to be seen. However, many fathers are discovering the joy of spending time with their children. They are finding the time to coach basketball, baseball, attend ballet recitals and read stories to their children. Many families are living by the proverb that “No man ever lay on their deathbed wishing he had spent more time at the office.” Which implies that many a man has in his last moments of life wished they spent more time with his family.It may be tempting to dismiss this way of life as pulling away from family values, which some Americans do. However companies have found women to be a real asset to their organization and families are often dependant on dual incomes. As for the children, most who go to daycare tend to be very well socialized and begin their education at a very early age. Of course, stay at home mothers can offer their children similar opportunities through playgroups and teaching at home.As I wrap this topic up, I would like to mention how reluctant I typically am to write about “Americans”. It is difficult to generalize about South Tirol and it is several million times harder to generalize about Americans, as there are no two alike. You will find people in the States who put their children in daycare, those who don’t, you’ll find stay at home mothers and fathers, people who homeschool, and those who send their children to boarding school. The important thing to remember is that children need love, time, and stability, and how you achieve that is not necessarily all that important. Margaret E. WelshMs. Welsh works at the Harvard Divinity School.

A letter from the United States

The Evolution of childcare in the United States

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A letter from the United States

The Evolution of childcare in the United States

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